| Eulogy
for my Brother Gerard
Ten years ago, the Lord blessed my wife and I with our first and only child, after 20 years of marriage. After Christina's birth, I called my brother Gerard with great enthusiasm and excitement and asked him why he had kept the most awesome, emotional and fulfilling experience of my life, such a secret (he and Barb already had been blessed with this experience 5 times). Gerard's response in his typical and matter of fact manner was simply "What words would I use to describe it?" I have
reflected upon that statement "What words would I use to
describe it" many times but it really rang true this week.
What words would I use to describe my brother Gerard, a husband,
son, father, brother, brother in law, godfather, colleague, swimmer,
mentor, fisherman, musician, basketball player, skier, teacher,
doctor, surgeon, chef, businessman, public speaker, eggroll vendor,
gardener, photographer, fund raiser, soccer dad, patio brick layer,
wrestler, friend, carpenter and last but not least, dancer. The
obvious thing we all have in common is an experience or some sort
of relationship with Gerard. But what words would we use that
really describe him. It will be an easy task to select the words
and you can create your own vision and definition of those words
as they related to your encounters with Gerard. But I think I know many but not all of the things, that made my brother Gerard, unique and very special. First was his name. I often wondered why the name Gerard. I was born on the feast of St. James the Greater, and using the same logic, Gerard should have been named "blank" or "no name" because there are no Saints celebrated on January 30, his birthday. However, if you look at January 31st, it is the feast of St. Gerald. Now it is no secret Asians have been known to have some problems with "R's" and "L's". But my Mother, with a graduate degree from Catholic University, should have known better. Perhaps her eyesight was failing her earlier than we thought. As young children, we were raised in a structured environment (Mom, notice I didn't say strict) where expectations were set. One expectation, that was no secret to us as children, is that our parents expected all their children to graduate from college and our dad, wanted a Doctor in the family. After all, when your parents can produce 6 children, 3 boys and 3 girls IN THAT ORDER, you know they've got some serious control issues and you'd better be paying attention. Thankfully, Gerard wanted to be a Dr, relieving me, honorable #1 son, of the pressure. I've often reflected upon why Gerard wanted to be a Dr (also wondered why he had bigger muscles than I did and why he could swim faster than I could (I initially became an engineer so I could learn to correlate muscles with strength and speed) … but then again I reveled in the fact that I had more hair on my head). It wasn't purely Gerard's intellect, dexterity and energy that made him suited for the medical profession but his compassion for others that made this the obvious career choice for him and for so many of you here today. I marveled at my little "big" brother, a big man by Chinese standards but a man with an equally large heart and gentle hands. I knew he was a great Dr. and our family was so proud to be able to say "Dr. Yu". (by the way, my parents did get 6 college graduates and the girls made sure they also put a Dr. on their side of the Yu boys vs. the Yu girls scorecard). And I know he used those gentle hands to benefit his patients and to further the profession he loved and tirelessly devoted himself to. God gave Gerard many gifts and talents, as God has given all of us. But Gerard supercharged and infused those gifts and talents with his passion. This passion was evident in everything he did. He wasn't going to be a swimmer…he was going to set the MD state record for the butterfly twice. He wasn't going to play the accordian but become a nationally ranked musician. He wasn't going to be a photographer, he was going to take great, unbelievable pictures. He wasn't going to be a podiatrist, he was going to be a great Doctor. He wasn't just going to be a husband, be a father, be a teacher and mentor, be a fisherman, be a cook or be a friend. He was going to be a great husband, a great father, a great teacher and mentor, a great fisherman, a great cook or a great friend. He wasn't going to just build a house….but with Barb by his side, he was going to build the best house that their family could have. And when it came time to build the patio, he built the best and biggest patio the space would allow. His passion to excel even applied to his humor. He wasn't just going to tell a joke. Did he ever tell you the one about the woman chewing gum with her cheeks but NOT with the ones on her face… I could tell you the punch line but not the joke). As a student, he highlighted his reading material with a ruler so the highlight was straight. He could carve a turkey, slice a tomato or loaf of bread or a piece of cheese with such precision that it would astound you. If you've ever watched him wrap a present, tie a fishing knot or build a fire, you know what I'm talking about. And if you got a chance to see him do all these things, clad only in his underwear (I think), robe, forehead sweatband, and his hair sticking straight out from the sides, you beheld a pitiful sight. Fortunately, for all of us, his dancing prowess peaked about the time of the hit song "Achy Breaky Heart" and he hung up his dance shoes to create time to pursue other interests. He was even passionate about air conditioning. No matter the temperature setting, another degree cooler was fine for him. In more recent times, he was passionate about email. How did he ever find the time to send all of us those messages and the proud pictures of his children, Ashley's prom, the re-done girls' bedroom and Riley the dog? He was passionate about his faith in God, with the seeds of his faith solidly founded by our parents and further developed through 12 years of Catholic grade school and high school education. He attended weekly mass regularly, not just Sundays. His strong and unwavering faith in the Almighty brings all of our family and many of his friends, great, great consolation. He was blessed in many ways, but especially when it comes to friends. I know he is grateful for the tremendous outpouring of love and support shown to Barbara and the children. If you subscribe to the theory a man is measured by the company he keeps, your presence yesterday and today would suggest Gerard was truly a great man. Thank you all for the time, effort, talent and money, many of you expended so you could be here to honor him. Dr. Frank Vargo, his close friend and colleague, we can't thank you enough for stepping up and taking charge on Monday. Gerard would be proud and grateful. We ask all of you for your continued prayers as Barb and the children navigate the course that lies ahead of them. Gerard would want those prayers for them … not him. On Monday, as I was privately reflecting on my Brother, while sitting in the organized clutter of his home office, I noticed a plaque listing 21 suggestions for success hanging on the wall. Obviously, these are suggestions for success, he strongly believed in…something that guided him… and I will share those suggestions with you now. 1. marry
the right person. We can all attest that he did. He worshipped
Barb. She brought him great happiness, and I know she was very
devoted to him as well Life is all about creating memories. And it is not about the quantity but the quality of those memories. Gerard has outlived all of us. Let me leave you with this final thought about Gerard: Remember
Gerard with smiles and laughter, Jim
Yu
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